I’ve been thinking a lot about organ transplants the last few days. I’m not really sure why to be honest, as I don’t qualify for either the heart or kidney transplant lists.
But I’ve found myself really wanting to encourage people to discuss the issue with their families, because even though you might not want to think about it, should the worst happen, it’s a bloody hard decision for your family to make on your behalf. And the sad truth is, many people refuse to agree to their loved ones being used for organ donation, because at the time that they are asked, they are in a place of grief and shock where they just want to keep their loved one how they know them.
Not making it clear what your wishes are means that instead of potentially saving someone’s life, your healthy organs will go to waste. And that makes me a little bit sad to be honest.
Personally I find the concept of a heart transplant quite strange. More so than a liver or a kidney. Even though the logical part of me knows that, at the end of the day it is really just a physical organ like any other, the illogical part considers it to be, well…the heart of me.
Think about it, how many sayings revolve around the heart? ‘She has a good heart’, ‘Listen to your heart’, ‘The heart wants what the heart wants’…What if that heart isn’t really yours? Would it change some fundamental part of you?
I know that even when I had frequent blood transfusions, I could feel my body reacting to this new blood as if it was a stranger that shouldn’t be there. I could feel it in my veins, and interestingly with the testing machine I use, I have shown up issues that I know are not mine if I test myself after a transfusion – is this the energy of the bloods previous owner?
The most dangerous thing about any organ transplant, but especially the heart, is the risk of rejection. Your body KNOWS this thing doesn’t really belong to it and acts like it is an alien, desperately trying to remove it and make you you again. So even though it’s there to save you, quite often the new organ is actually what kills you.
So I have been wondering lately whether a new heart would change who I am. Would I suddenly start liking Marmite and Celine Dion? (god forbid not!) There are so many tales of things like this happening, or even of people falling in love with the donors previous partner, that try as I might I can’t think of the heart as a purely physical object. It is made up of cells which hold the very essence of you.
Would I have a heart transplant if I could though? Probably, if I had exhausted all other possibilities. I think it would take a long time for that heart to feel like mine though…if it ever did. Would I be less me? I hope not. But in a strange way I’m quite curious to find out…
So, what do you think? Is the heart just a physical organ, or would having someone else’s make you different to who you were before?
Only Human Too... 
I echo your comments about considering the value of transplants to others, people you may never meet, know or even hear of. My stepfather was on a dialysis machine for most of my childhood and eventually had a transplant, which whilst his life was still cut short, meant a much better quality of life for a few years aftwerwards.
A thought that sticks in my mind is a friend of mine who was born with only one kidney. He tells me that when he was born, they placed him in the ICU unit next to another baby who had been born with three kidneys. Now tell us, Alanis Morissette, is THAT ironic? 🙂
I’m not sure if I would feel that a transplanted heart was a part of me, or borrowed part of someone else. I’m very lucky that I’ve never had to consider the thought until now. Are our bodies interchangeable machines made up of component parts, or something more? Does that make us merely machines? If the former is true, I hope it doesn’t make the latter true by default.
Would I
Another beatifully written piece Callie. Always thought provoking.
To my mind, if a person has opted to provide you with their heart in the event of anything happening to them, then that’s a good thing. More than that, it demonstrates that that person is a good person as they wish to help someone else in event of their own demise. If these wishes and desires are indeed stored in our hearts, then whilst I know I would prefer to keep my own for as long as it will keep me ticking, I’d happily accept that of another. I’d be comfortable in that heart with the knowledge that my new one stored all the best of intentions for helping somebody else in need. So even if it’s new to me, I’d know I’d have a strong foundation to focus on mentally, until it felt like my own.
V x
Another thought provoking post. A few days ago, I was thinking how when certain things are on your mind, you suddenly find those thoughts manifest around you. Just 2 days ago I watched Horizon on telly, & it was about whether we can heal a broken heart. Amongst the things they covered were heart transplants, growing hearts, etc. It’s amazing what science can do, & yet, what seems like a simple organ at one level, i.e. it’s a pump, it still eludes the scientists.
Personally, I can only hypothesise. In Yoga, we talk about how the Self is located in the heart. So, would that imply that by replacing the heart, we replace the essence of the Self? My scientific mind says no. My heart says perhaps.
When it comes to prolonging life, it is selfish of us when people we care about have a heart condition & we want them to be around for as long as possible. There is also, I’d assume the person concerned & their attachment to life. But then, that’s a whole different discussion but is something that’s always torn me.
I am lucky not to have ever had to really consider this for myself. However, my power, my “me” does not reside in my heart,, but is a ball of energy spinning in my abdomen…It is something that when I focus I can feel, and if it is spinning out of kilter I feel unbalanced. It is independant of any physical organ.
However, if someone offered me a brain transplant, I would definitely feel differently about it.
I never know what to say when I read your blog Callie, but you make me think about things I otherwise wouldn’t. I think thats a good thing, and I’ll keep reading, and thinking. Maybe I’ll even end up doing!
My old man died before I was born….a massive heart attack one morning as he got out the car. I never new him and for reasons I don’t understand I’ve never even seen a picture of him. I think if I could ask him, would he have accepted a donated heart and still be here to see my only son born and grow up his decision would have been yes. At least I hope it would have been. Great post Callie and I wish you the very best but should you need and get offered that donor heart please take it. The world would be a sadder place without you.
Another very thought provoking & well written blog. Cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through & people in the position of having to make such decisions for themselves let alone loved ones. Thank you for sharing as always Callie
It’s a funny one, I carried a donor card for many years but didn’t tell anyone which is a bit daft really and now my bits wouldn’t be of any use to anyone, but I ticked that they could have everything but my eyes, I don’t know why, I just couldn’t get passed someone else using my view of the world. Your post has reminded me to talk to my children about their wishes on this though.
Oh dear… so upon reading this my innards started their tumble dryer cycle as they so often do whenever you peel back the curtain. Dinner was cooking and I needed to attend to it. Meanwhile, Helen receives a phone call from her brother. Her brother walked into a clinic today because he had been experiencing shooting pains since the weekend. Kept it to himself. The upshot is he has developed a hole in his lung (hence the wheezing sound he could hear as he breathed) and has just admitted himself into hospital. So upon seeing Helen’s increasingly alarmed face, my innards that were already churned, churned further.
Life is so fragile. I would imagine that most would succumb to the misery which you seemingly disable.
Do you know that my path in the arts often makes me question originality and uniqueness. There are few originals if any. Music for example. No matter how cutting edge a new band may be, you can hear all their influences. Film the same. Artwork the same. Design the same. Writing the same. We are so steeped in history that it is seemingly impossible to break away from that and be new.
You Callie are new. Be strong. Be open minded. Be you.