Thanks for all the fish

It’s been a long time since I updated this blog. As always life seems to have taken over.

It’s funny how you can find yourself in a place you never quite imagined. The life I have now seems so very different from the one I had when I began this challenge. And it’s not that the starting place was bad, I just didn’t realise how much else I could have.

And now here I am, 5 months later, working all over the country, in a new relationship and with more friends than I could shake a stick at. And these are REAL friends. The kind that never fail to make me smile, who make the day that little bit better and who offer to help me out when I am sick. The kind that make me feel blessed. And I hope I do the same for them. It turns out letting people in, pulling down the walls a little bit, can pay dividends.

I also find it odd that all these things have happened because of a networking site. I’ve talked about 4networking before, and I don’t want to wax lyrical about it. But credit where credit is due, without it I would not be in the position of strength that I am now. Or rather, without the fabulous people I’ve met there (and there are too many to name!), I wouldn’t. I even met my boyfriend (who conveniently lives at the other end of the country – trust me) through the network. If you’d told me that a year ago I would have laughed.

I was talking to someone at a 4N meeting on Friday and they were asking about my health, and it reminded me I hadn’t updated this blog. The truth is I have been both better and worse over the past month. I have been doing more than ever. Traveling lots, socialising lots, working lots. I have coped with it well for the most part – 4 months ago I would never have been able to do this much. And my heart is a little bit stronger, which is excellent. I can breathe easier, and you have no idea the relief that that brings.

And I have already succeeded in the challenge. I have managed to avoid dialysis for 5 months now. A miracle according to the doctors. In fact I even managed to improve my kidney function enough for my status to be downgraded. But, as usual, old habits die hard and I pushed myself too hard and took my eye off the ball. So I’ve gone downhill a little bit again.

I’ve now got another 3 weeks to improve my kidney function again before dialysis will inevitably have to start. So I’m taking some time out to make sure I can do that. If at the end of that time dialysis is still the route that is needed, then I will deal with that and all that that means.

But with friends reminding me to take care of myself, a greater sense of self worth and all to fight for, I’m fairly confident I will be able to beat the odds again.

And to all that are walking this journey with me, no matter how big or small your part, thank you.